More on spy-proofing your base.

Note: Special thanks to EGM

Once you get into the sanctuary of your super base, you want to make sure no spy can get in. These are some hints how to get them out.

One of the spy's favorite ways to get into your secret base is in the dark. Hire an electrician to put in a bunch of lights so those spies will get the hell out of there. Oh yes, make sure you use bulletproof lightbulbs.
Spies love to hang around like a bunch of little monkies. Their favorite spots are overhead water pipes and ledges. So to fix these problems, take the insulation off the water pipes and have any guard passing by a mysterious set of fingers step on them. Another thing, evil overlords usually have health packs lying around just for some nosy spy to use when your guards get a couple shots on him. Have a janitor either throw these packs away, or fill them with sleeping pills. And one more thing, in any spy movie, there is always some laser trip wires that spies somehow manuever their way through. Make a laser grid so tight and intricate that spies will try to lose so much weight to get through, they'll die of malnutrition. Henchmen tend to feel special when you give them a keycard to a high security area. So they think they are of higher authority and wear clothes different than those issued to them. However, this informs the spy of which henchman has the key and aims for him. Make sure all your baddies wear the same clothes. But this is the biggest thing you should know, remove all explosive barrels from doors, power generators, actually your base in general. Better yet, catapult them to CIA Headquarters.
That is all.

Your oppressive overlord,
Mr. X

Action movie writers could take over the world. Be wary.

After watching Air Force One, I soon realized that we need a very important hostage. Preferably from a country that is not the U.S. due to their "No negotiations with terrorists" policy. So we would take the president of lets say, Turkey for example, run away to a heavily guarded fortress until they hand over some tanks or a nuclear bomb or something along those lines. But as we learn from stealth video games, we must teach the guards to look for foolish spies. Aside from patrolling, they must look behind them at random intervals due to a spy's tendency to sneak up behind guards and slit their throats. Also, have cameras look down aside from side to side. Spys love to hide underneath security cameras. More about protecting your fort in next issue of "WORLD DOMINATION".

Your devilish dictator,
Mr. X

Damn

Wow, we're really having no progress at all. At all. It sucks major. We still can't decide what country to blow up first. Any suggestions? Hopefully somewhere insignificant, yet with a large population. C'monnnnn

Secret Weapons

My good friend in the U.S. Air Force seems to have gotten a hold of 4 super secret weapons and has donated them to the cause. These secret weapons are almost more deadly than a nuclear warhead and less expensive. However, we need 4 people to operate them, supplies to run them, and an abandoned runway.
You may have guessed what they are, however, there is something that sets them apart. These secret weapons will be coming soon to a panicked city near you.

Your corrupted cohort,
Mr. X

It was all like "Boom"

I tested my first WMD or how i like to call them "death cylinders". I tested it on a unoccupied mall. Yes...unoccupied. These weapons will prove quite useful to us when we begin to conquer nations. Unfortunately, conquering nations is a bit harder than rolling dice. You have to send spies to get inside information on the gov't so you know exactly how to attack, and its weak points. Then you have to storm the capital with thousands of heavily armed soliders in order to cut the head off the snake.

BOOM!

Words of advice for novice conquistadores.

(By the way, conquistadores means conquerers in spanish.)

1. Play lots of Risk.
This may sound silly, but it is an excellent training program. The only thing better would probably be Conquer the World Campaign in Rise of Nations. Plan strategies and alliances that would be made. Anticipate the unexpected and prethink a solution to a possible problem.

2. Stay low.
Many people unfortunately do not like the idea of being conquered. If you announce your plans to the world, you will be deemed a terrorist by the U.S. and be hunted down by the FBI, CIA, etc.

3. Do what you promise.
If we have learned anything from presidental campaigns, we know that people don't like it when someone promises something and doesn't do it. It's also not good to do the total opposite. Breaking promises will instantly lead to rebellion.

4. Hire nuclear scientists.
As we have also learned from suspense movies, nuclear scientists for some reason can construct a nuclear bomb with ease. If this is true, get a bunch of these guys, give them a couple of safety suits, a safe facility, and some plutonium and you're off. Nuclear weapons are what everybody fears the most and are quite a good negociating tool.

5. Recruit soldiers, followers, etc.
This is the step we are in the middle of. You will find it is much easier to take over the world if you soldiers and not just your blank threats (except of course they aren't blank threats if you followed Step 4). Soldiers are also good for killing rebels. Hopefully your soldiers have better aim than Stormtroopers which seem to always let those rebels get away.

With these words of wisdom, you might even be worthy to join us. But probably not.

How to: Continental Conquering

If you truly want power in the world, then conquering whole continents will get you there much faster. The best country to start with is South America, being the smallest (yes I know Australia is smaller but I mean, Australia doesn't have anything important there, say soldiers...). Anyways, once you have a whole continent under the rule of one country (once again excluding Australia), you will be respected by the whole world. A bonus would be a coffee embargo when you take control of Columbia. Politicans everywhere would be too sleepy to order an attack on us! Mwahahahaha....
Your Sanity-Challenged Leader,
Mr. X.

Strategies for you evil crazed cannon fodder.

In order for Willie and I to obtain more soldiers and social status, we need to declare alliances with some countries. Preferably ones not already focused on taking over the world (meaning no alliance with the U.S.). We would start with a small country then work our way up to an alliance with a world super power. And we own half the world along with that ally, we kill the allied leader! Mwahahaha....
Note: Even though many will die during our quest for world domination, we will be righteous and make sure Nazis and Turks be tortured then killed.

Your lord and master who is not a squirrel,
-Mr. X

I am Mr. X.

Greetings! I am the soon-to-be vice-president of the world! You see, my comrade and I wish to take over the world. Of course, this may take a while, so we need all the help we can get. Anybody wishing to recruit please contact me. New strategies may be posted to convince you further. That is all.

Partner in Crime

My friend, who will now be known only as "Mr. X", has joined me in my quest for world domination. He shall update on occasion with updates on our mission and his contributions. Keep reading, and your death shall be quick and painless when we conquer the world.

thank you and good night.

Off to a good start...

So far, things have been quite good in the world of world domination. I've been spending the last few months gathering weapons and ammo and various worthy people to be used as cannon fodder and warriors. Unfortunately, most will probably become the former.

Anyway, I'm thinking of taking over Belgium first, then working my way up to more important European countries. Not that Belgium isn't important...But who wants a city named Brussels? Any ideas of how to take Belgium by force? Inside information is preferable.

Stay tuned for more info on my quest for world domination.