World Domination

Blitzkrieg Bop

2006-09-06T22:42:00.000-07:00

Well, our Argentine Recon Mission was a success, we gathered a sufficient amount of intelligence on Argentina and surrounding countries.
Since then, I have been studying on the art of blitzkrieg. Blitzkrieg, essentially, is the use of powerful, heavily armored tanks to break an enemy line, then rushing in with light tanks and infantry to effectively wipe out the enemy forces. However, this tactic relies on a thin spread of enemy tanks, for a large attacking tank force can take out individual tanks with ease, but two tank divisions against each other is trouble. This is why blitzkrieg worked in the invasion of Poland and France and not in Soviet Russia.
A problem presents itself in using blitzkrieg, it requires a vast amount of tanks and infantry, not to mention an air force for supporting fire and bombing runs. However, if these resources are available, blitzkrieg is a dangerous force against those whom are tank-less.
Your Hearty harbinger,
Mr. X (aka Wishful Sinful)

Argentine Reconnaissance Mission

2006-06-15T00:45:00.000-07:00

Willie and I will be departing for a reconnaissance mission in Argentina for a pre-determined amount of time during this month. When there, we will be scouting for possible secret base locations, or silos for our neutron bombs. (How fun!) We will also be consuming vast amounts of meat.

Your crazed comrade,
Mr. X

Anger Management is for squares.

2006-03-27T22:40:00.000-08:00

I think I will fill Dr. Emmerich's head full of hot lead.
Your Angry Adversary,
Mr. X (aka Wishful Sinful)

theme song

2006-02-23T16:42:00.000-08:00

i have decided
that the World Domination crew
needs
THEME MUSIC!!!!

this will not be just a homosesxual theme song that will play on the site. this will be much much cooler.
it will be a musical instrumental composition that is meant to be played in the background whenever a member of the World Domination crew appears (or, preferably, all of them at the same time, with eyes a-burning and spaceships a-shining). This can be compared to the soundtrack of movies: Whenever Darth Vader enters the scene, the imperial march plays; when Clint Eastwood comes on screen, the music becomes stronger and upbeat.

Similarly, we shall have a catchy yet very evil and menacing tune that shall be played (or sung, when there is a lack of a sound system) whenever we enter a room. This genius piece is yet to be composed, but when it is, all civilians will come to fear the sound of it!!!

Yours menacingly,
- The Dog of War

Wow, a whole month of nothingness.

2006-02-12T20:34:00.000-08:00

Not much happened in these past few weeks in world dominating. No new plans, no new weapons, we're just sitting around doing nothing. Well I'm thinking deeper into the conquering Antarctica plot. This may just work after all.
Your Bored Bombardier,
Mr. X (aka Wishful Sinful)

2006-01-12T18:00:00.000-08:00

thanks to Willie for the tight new layout.
make sure you all thank him by grovelling at his feet and sending him fabulous gifts.
actually, feel free to do that to Mr. X and I as well.

A New Year for Domination

2006-01-11T17:10:00.000-08:00

Happy new year to all of those seeking to conquer the world. This new year i've made a resolution to do things peacefully. Of course, new year's resolutions only last a week or two, so expect this to be the only post like this ever.

Ok, so you protest about all those bad things for the environment, pollution, gasoline, global warming, etc. But to make yourself standout from the hippies, also protest things that hippies like so that the rest of the population likes you, say, drugs. Well now you've got the attention of the world. Now's the time to form a charity to save the environment. If you have made yourself famous, you'll get lots of money. Keep this money and use it to do good things. But keep a portion seperate (will be addressed later). So now everybody loves you, except the U.S. of course. So you tell all the countries in the world they have to unite together to pressure the U.S. to stop polluting. So they unite as a global government, and you hint at electing them the president. So now you're the ruler of the entire world (except U.S.), now do what you said you were going to do, threaten the U.S to stop polluting and join the world superpower. Well of course they refuse, so you say that they can trust you and tell them that you'll disarm your entire army. So you disarm the entire army, and the U.S agrees to join, and now you rule the world. However, when you give up your new year's resolution (as i just did) use that money i talked about earlier to develop a robot army as a bit of insurance.

Your happy hippie-master,
Mr. X (aka Wishful Sinful)

If you want to join us please take this test.

2005-12-23T17:51:00.000-08:00

~~EVIL~~ABLE WORLD DOMINATOR QUIZ

If you think you've got what it takes to be a supervillain, then please take the following placement quiz. This is to test your evil potential, and determine whether you possess the necessary attributes to make it in today's evil world.

QUESTION #1: How do you start your morning routine?

A) Wake up at 6:00 A.M. and sing merrily in the shower!
B) A five mile jog and rigorous set of exercises.
C) Hit the snooze alarm for the tenth time in as many minutes.
D) Have a cup of coffee, read the daily newspaper and then plot the downfall of western civilization.

QUESTION #2: Which of the following job skills do you possess?

A) Excellent management potential.
B) Ability to focus on the task at hand.
C) Looking busy whenever the boss walks by.
D) How to explain your master plan in under sixty seconds.

QUESTION #3: What did you want to be when you grew up?

A) A policeman
B) A doctor
C) A ballerina
D) Supreme dark overlord of all mankind. Either that or a lawyer.

QUESTION #4: Do you have any pets?

A) A big lovable dog.
B) A bird of some sort.
C) An iguana.
D) A white furry cat that you stroke constantly.

QUESTION #5: How do you normally spend your weekends?

A) Sports activities in the great outdoors.
B) Watching television.
C) Hanging out with friends.
D) Constructing doomsday devices in your basement.

QUESTION #6: What are your religious beliefs?

A) Monotheistic: Christian, Jewish, Muslim
B) Pantheistic: Buddhist, Hindu, Pagan
C) Atheist or Agnostic
D) I am actually an ancient Babylonian God awoken from a terrible sleep and destined to destroy all mankind.

QUESTION #7: What torments you in your greatest nightmares?

A) A fiery building from which you cannot escape.
B) Monsters that tear you limb from limb.
C) Your ex-wife demanding alimony payments.
D) Unicorns, rainbows, and puppy dogs with big eyes.

QUESTION #8: What would you say is the greatest threat to society today?

A) Crime, drugs, and gangs.
B) Corporations run amok.
C) Nuclear war.
D) Me.

QUESTION #9: What is your normal reaction whenever confronted by a holy symbol, garlic, silver weapon or holy water?

A) Feel the divine light surround your spiritual aura.
B) Bewildered confusion.
C) Chuckle at their superstitious beliefs.
D) Run away while screaming: "It burns! It burns!"

QUESTION #10: It's the end of the world. An atomic blast has just leveled the cities and destroyed the human race. Mutants now walk the streets and the seas have boiled away to nothing. You've just seen your best friend torn to pieces, and civilization as you know it is over. Do you...

A) Vow to someday rebuild society.
B) Double over in grief and wait for a painful death.
C) Try to remember the plot to "The Road Warrior."
D) Congratulate yourself on a job well done.

If you answered mostly "D's" you might be able to join us.

Returning from the dead

2005-12-15T22:22:00.000-08:00

Sorry about the lack of posts lately, we all seemed to have lost focus. This past week I had a fever/cold illness and Willie was well shooting things. Yuval I haven't heard from, I do believe he is stuffing a chicken full of potatoes just about now. In other news, we should be gathering this Saturday for a little combat simulation. In much older news, that new title picture was created by yours truly in case if you were wondering. Now watch your eyes so you don't get pieces of England in your eye after we blow it up into a thousand million pieces.
Your lackadaisical lieutenant,
Mr. X (aka Wishful Sinful)

On removing Dr. E

2005-11-25T11:25:00.000-08:00

I am sorry, but it was in the best intrest of the blog to remove Dr. Emmerich. He hasn't been posting enough and his last post was well...just silly. So there. Also, I have upgraded Mr. X's status to Admin since he is such a driving force in our quest. Thank you

-Overlord William

We learn (pwn) from history.

2005-11-15T17:18:00.000-08:00

I think we need to learn some things from our history to better ourselves. Here's some valuable lessons that I've compiled.

From Alexander the Great:

Use types of troops which your opponenet is not used to/expecting. For example, in one of his battles he used heavy cavalry in front of his fortified phalanx to overrun his enemies.

From Napoleon:

Well just about everything that is used in modern warefare, such as increasing marching rates, living off the home country, seperating into specific units, and attack lines of enemy supply. This was seen particularly in the Civil War.

From Phalanx Warfare/Modern Warefare:

I believe that we should combine ancient war techniques with modern ones. Mordern warefare entails of scattered groups of soldiers attack another group of scattered soliders. Usually units move together in 3s-10s. I think that we should figure out a way to protect larger groups of soliders to overwhelm the enemy, as is commonly used by riot police. Each solider will have a bullet proof shield either somehow attached to them or they will hold it and combining the shields will cover the entire unit which will storm the enemy, taking cover when neccesary. If the troops are brave enough, they will move together quickly and take the enemy by surprise.

Awesome spaceships.

2005-11-07T21:18:00.000-08:00

We need awesome spaceships to zoom around in and drop bombs and fire lasers and launch proton torpedoes. Then all our enemies will be like "oh no, they have awesome spaceships! We're doomed!" And then we would land on Pluto and remotely fire all the nukes on Earth, which will make it explode, which will turn it into a small star. This star will orbit the sun, consuming Mars and Mercury, and making the gases in Venus explode. This explosion and the heat of the star will ignite the almost 100% hydrogen atmosphere of Jupiter, causing a bigger explosion, igniting Saturn, Neptune, and Uranus making an über explosion which would then fuse the sun and the Earth star together making a big star with only Pluto in its orbit. And the oxygen left over from the explosion would start to orbit Pluto, forming an atmosphere. And the heat would melt all the icy things there too. So now we would have control over Pluto, Charon, and those other new moons they say they found. And they would all be able to support human life. Don't worry if you don't understand, Its just that my master genius plan is too advanced and complicated for your feeble mind to understand.

Your Super Sergeant,
Mr. X (aka Wishful Sinful)

"No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!"

2005-10-30T17:22:00.000-08:00

Don't steal music, you commies.
Your Cool Corporal,
Mr. X (aka Wishful Sinful)

hey check this out

2005-10-22T19:12:00.000-07:00

i can make a wee little PSP: (+.[___]·:·)

FEAR IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lessons Learned

2005-10-22T11:01:00.000-07:00

A couple days ago, Mr. X and I decided to run a simulation of a world domination scenario (Rise of Nations). We discovered some very important things, here's a list:

Keep units in reserve, you'll never know when you'll need them.
Metal is harder to come by then other resources (aside from oil).
Fall back when neccesary
Keep supplies for your troops
Don't attack unless you know that you'll seriously damage your enemies, and only if you have reinforcements.
Keep the enemy in check by bombarding their cities with ships and planes.

Hopefully today we'll have another go, and I'll get back to you with s'more information.

Also, a message to Dr. E: Please have your posts be less personal, and if you feel the need to post a post (ha) of that nature, then add a little bit more "world domination" flair to it, if you know what I mean. But, on personal terms, yeah that sucks majorly, but you never know the trip could've been shitty.

Thanks,

Willie, Co-Word Dominator

Muwahaha...the hurricane machine strikes again!

2005-10-21T16:15:00.000-07:00

Yes, we launched two more hurricanes (or three we seem to have lost count...) from our marvelous hurricane machine. Doom and peril and various other forms of bad are wreaking havoc around the Central American region. I have one regret for Katrina though, that little cafe in New Orleans that served begihts is...wait...its back? Alright no regrets.
Your Hungry Hedonist,
Mr. X (aka Wishful Sinful)
P.S.- I think i will make the whole world hedonistic after we conquer it. Sure beats that complicated religion stuff.

CONSARNIT

2005-10-20T07:42:00.000-07:00

the universe just dealt me a total SHIT hand. the week before i was going to boston TO WREAK HAVOK AND SUPPORT THE WITCHES, i got sick with this viral throat thing (contracted of course from the Avian Flu that i created MUHAH) and it gave me frequent fevers and stuff and it made me MISS THE GREATEST CONCERT EVER (coheed and cambria/blood brothers) and it made me STAY HOME FOR THE GREATEST TRIP EVER(boston). RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH IM SO FREAKIN FRUSTRATED!!!! but if I HAD gone to boston i probably wouldve gotten bronchitis and made everyone else on the plane sick because i heard that they were delayed on the runway for two hours waiting for their turn to take off. ugh. *slams head against wall* on a lighter note, I dont have to do any of the written assignments that are done IN BOSTON all i have to do is look at some stuff on the internet.

Your Mopey Mad Scientist,
-Dr. Emmerich

We are not communists.

2005-10-18T21:46:00.000-07:00

You see, many people believe that people like us would be communists. Such is not the case. This is a sterotype of all bad guys. Many people think that all bad guys are world dominators and think that all world dominators come from Russia, and that all people from Russia are communists (sometimes true). To get the point across, we are not communists. Now go home and play you commies.
Your supreme strategist,
Mr. X (aka Wishful Sinful)

Bow Down Before the One You Serve; You're Going to Get What You Deserve

2005-10-12T21:57:00.000-07:00

if anyone wanted to know the location i wanted annhialated for my birthday it was in a past comment. and by the way, a potential ally could be the almighty Lord Vader. Just throwin it out there. Anyone? Anyone? What about the King of the Cosmos? He destroyed every source of light in the universe once by having too wild a party and left the universe without heat for days, killing trillions. of course, every single one of those trillions we're from Pwnzor 9, the poser planet. thank heavens. Mr. Cosmos can also teleport anything by regurgitating a giant rainbow, and i know how much we all would love to have THAT ability. Oh, and another person we should be fighting against is the most vile, evil thing to crawl on the earth. Ladies and Gentlemen, BFF only to Satan, vice president DICK cheney!

btw the title is from a nine inch nails song. if you've never heard it, ur on the wrong planet cuz obviously you should have perished in the tragedy of Pwndzor 9, bitch.

-otacon www.thesnakesnest.blogspot.com

Our competitors

2005-10-11T19:57:00.001-07:00

Like every large business, we have some major competitors in the fields we work in. Of course, these are so numerous that just the idea of listing them all is proposterous. However, since these should be taken into account and we should work on destroying them as soon as possible. Some major ones are as follows (in alphabetical order):

Aliens (duhhh...)
The American Government (especially this person who calls himself Bush)
AOL
Apple (iPod)
The Canadians (for proof see that nifty link over there to the right)
China (I mean, if they accept such small salaries they must be up to SOMETHING)
Costco
Dr. Cube
Flowers (you always see them, sittin there innocently, talking amongst themselves... i don't buy this genius guise)
Google
The Jews (I mean, God even promised it to them, seriously...)
McDonalds
Microsoft
Pinky & The Brain (well... Pinky might not really count...)
The Russians
Starbucks
Stewie Griffin
Walmart (this was added as a suggestion by Wishful Sinful, your Admirable Admiral)

If you have any suggestions of what to add to the list, please make them. thank you. Eventually we WILL triumph over all of these petty oganizations, nations, and independents, and then the whole world will feel the wrath of... US!!!! mwahahahahaha... ha.

happy birthday to dr. emmerich

2005-10-09T11:23:00.000-07:00

What day is today?
It's Dr. E's B-day
What day for birthday
Now lets all have some cake

_____________________________________________________________________

I'll destroy any city for you on this special occasion - what should it be?

Now fully operational:

2005-10-08T13:12:00.000-07:00

You know that earthquake machine Willie mentioned a few posts back? Well we completed it, but before unleashing it on Los Angeles, we did a test run in the middle of nowhere over in Asia. Fortunately, the machine worked, 10 times more powerful than planned. It unleashed a 7.6 magnitude on the unsuspecting Middle East. However, a major setback is that this machine is gigantic and will take forever to move back to the U.S. to unleash ultimate destruction.

Your White Warlord (white meaning anti-communist),
Mr. X (aka Wishful Sinful)

On the note of a giant monster capable of launching nukes...

2005-10-03T21:25:00.000-07:00

HEY!!! hasn't anyone ever heard of something sorta like a giant robot monster.... ooh gee i cant remember what its called... capable of destroying countries with it's nuclear launch abilities... and various other attack modes.. oh wait. METAL GEAR. yea, thats it. My fellow Mad Scientists, What we need at the moment is a metal gear, preferrably something along the lines of MG-RAY so that it could have amphibious capabilities as well as land. we could surprise nations from the ocean, or just plain ol' have a mobile nuke launcher. My friends, Metal Gears are the future of nuclear warfare, and we must take this all into serious consideration.
-Otacon

20,000 foot Sea Monster

2005-10-02T19:44:00.000-07:00

It has come to my attention that creating a giant monster like Godzilla would be essential for creating fear among the populace. Unfortunately, it is impossible to breed such a creature. Instead, I am considering created a massive artilleray vehicle capable of launching 10 SCUD missiles and once, and when properly deployed it can launch a nuclear warhead. Also, like that of city-crushing monsters, it can knock people and cars 100s of miles with its gigantic feet and stomp on buildings. Also, it can eat people and convert their organs to pure fuel. Now I just need 500,000,000,000 dollars.

Down By The Seaside.

2005-10-01T23:17:00.000-07:00

Right now, I am at my secret oceanside base. However, it has been foggy all day, so I haven't been able to catch up on my tan. And my outdated computer is not accepting this important disc containing valuable information. A very frustruating day indeed. However, I broke this period of monotony by updating my profile. I am also planning various routes for domination using my trusty game of Risk. I think that all of us should assemble for a battle of strategy! Risk is the ultimate practice for world domination. I am also catching up on my reading by reading the famous book "The Art Of War". That is all for now.

Your Cunning Colonel,
Mr. X (aka Wishful Sinful)

2005-09-26T19:39:00.000-07:00

The following is a possible plan that I might consider as our path to World Domination. I will rethink all the sides and POV's of this and eventually reconsider if it is good or needs adjustment. For now, tell me what YOU think.

My objective is simple: World Domination

My motive is a little bit more complex: Power

Stage One:
To begin my plan, I must first Kidnap a Scientist. This will cause the world to sit up and take notice, stunned by my arrival. Who is this Evil Genius? Where did he come from? And why does he look so good in Black?

Stage Two:
Next, I will Seize control of the Moon (ooh, tides!). This will cause countless hordes of Stormtroopers to flock to me, begging to do my every bidding. My name will become synonymous with Horror, as lesser men whisper it in terror.

Stage Three:
Finally, I will Unleash my Thermonuclear Missiles, bringing about an End to Sanity. This will all be done from a top-secret base on the Dark Side of the Moon, an excellent choice if I do say so myselft. These three deeds will herald the end, and the citizens of this planet will have no choice but to elect me as their new god.

Trust me, it'll all come together in the end.

RB78 (aka The Dog of War)

Welcomage

2005-09-23T18:41:00.000-07:00

I'd like to officially welcome our two new members Dr. Emmerich and the Dog of War. The will be very helpful in our plan. Treat them as you would us - if any of you followers say anything bad about them I will personally douse you in kerosene and light you aflame. So don't even think about (we have mind reading devices.) HEY WHAT DID I TELL YOU?! Idiot...The hurricane machine is going well - we are building an earthquake device that will hopefully destroy Los Angeles, sending the US into a wave of terror.

-President of Awesome

hello again.

2005-09-22T22:37:00.000-07:00

greetings. i am called Otacon. i have joined this blog to keep you all informed on the... uh... information current in the world of espionage and infiltration. i gratiously accept this blog invite and i thank the wonderfully despicable world dominators who house this blog.

you will be hearing more from me soon,
Otacon

P.S. Mr. X? the first one was only lvl 4, not 5. this next houston hurricane is supposed to be much more powerful. just wanted to correct you on that note. I HAVE ALREADY PROVEN MY INFORMATION GATHERING SKILLS!

Yes, we did it.

2005-09-22T16:40:00.000-07:00

We are the ones who have been responsible for the two Category 5 hurricanes that hit the southern U.S. Wasn't it obvious? Two category 5 hurricanes in a row? It was obviously our hurricane machine. However, that weakling Ophelia was a natural one. Disguising our attacks behind natural diasters, oh what will we think of next?

Your Stormy Superior,
Mr. X (aka Wishful Sinful)

Taking world domination to a new level

2005-09-19T22:50:00.000-07:00

If you thought that the world was in danger up till now, then you're in for more. Because the great Dog of War has joined the blog. I have worked as an outside missionary for a while now, especially in areas of the Middle East. But now i have been recruited into the lead special forces unit, specializing in a field that is not of importance to you puny public as of now. You'll be hearing more frome me later, that's fo sho.

The future Vice-President of Awesome,
The Dog of War (codename RB78)

Wow. A great wave of realization.

2005-09-15T20:44:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking, after we conquer the world, then what do we do? Hmm... Well I was thinking of going on to galatic domination. Yes, galactic domination. Then universal domination. We will be gods. Ah now I feel better.
Red.
Blue.
Orange.
In other randomosity: "Take what I say in a different way and you can say that this is all confusion."

Your Admirable Admiral,
Mr. X (aka Wishful Sinful)

Your starting country.

2005-09-06T20:55:00.000-07:00

Now if you are to spread your rule across the world, there must be a place to start the spreading. I'm talking about your country. Now if you do not own a country, this will be your first step towards world domination. However, I have discovered a way to bypass the annoying step of propaganda, sabotage, espionage, and finally fighting your way to the ownership of a country. Why not take some land no one owns? Yes, I'm talking Antarctica. This is the only land on the entire planet not taken by any country. We would build our own cities, and a super-fortress in the center of the captial. After a few years, we own the entire continent of Antarctica. Being sure to hide our forces from satelite, we would amass the soldiers then strike. And slowly yet surely, we take over. Oh i'm good.
Your Magnificent Mastermind,
Mr. X (aka Wishful Sinful)

Back...again.

2005-09-05T21:56:00.000-07:00

Well now I'm REALLY back since I was kicked back off after sneaking back in last time. I would like to apologize to our late rival for his suicide. Now all I have is a useless blog. Oh well. Who's up for Risk?

Your Generous Genius,
Mr. X (aka Wishful Sinful)

P.S.-To all world leaders i shall quote Jim Morrison: "We want the world and we want it now."

Ok, I learned my lesson....maybe.

2005-08-26T22:56:00.000-07:00

I'm here again and I just wanted to say: Sweden is going down.

Your malicious murderer,
Mr. X (aka Wishful Sinful)

Sorry Comrades

2005-08-25T23:54:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately, General Doom (who was of no threat whatsoever, but was kind of like that annoying friend you like to have around to make fun of) shot himself in the head today from the actions of your former fellow leader. It has been my decision to remove him temperarorly from the blog since it must be known that there is no use to waste energy in a matter such as this. Because of his actions, our peer (however messed up may be) lay dead from his own hand an unsuitable death for any Dominator, no matter how crazy they may be.

Please note that when Mr. X learns his lesson I will consider reinviting him to the team. As for now, the blog will be on Mr. X hiatus, but I will continue to post. Thank You.

William the Dominator

General Doom has been defeated.

2005-08-25T17:46:00.000-07:00

Yes. He has. Refer to his blog to see: http://doomisgood.blogspot.com
Refer to the post before this one to see what we're going to do with him.

Your superb spy,
Mr. X (aka Wishful Sinful)

Once again victorious.

2005-08-21T15:13:00.000-07:00

We have forced General Doom to surrender. Now normally we would probably let him join our ranks as our butler or something, but we shall not. The reason is simple: he is a communist. We're probably just going to put him in a barrel and send him off to Russia (along with his "tank" with "satelite destroying rounds"). General Doom, you have our mercy, but you may not join our ranks. Not even as janitor. We have a strict non-communist hiring code. Hope you have fun and we'll mark your barrel with "To Russia, With Love".

Your diabolical disciplinarian,
Mr. X (aka Wishful Sinful)

Zzzzzzzzz....

2005-08-14T00:55:00.000-07:00

*Yawn* It is quite early in the morning and well wait what am I even doing up? Even world dominators need to sleep. And dream. Dreams are good. I often dreaming about taking over the world (obviously) and making General Doom my butler and renaming him Higgins. Ah thats a good dream.
Good night to all! (except for those in different time zones so Good Morning and Good Afternoon too.)

Your Grumpy General,
Mr. X (aka Wishful Sinful)

Return of the Willie

2005-08-10T01:20:00.000-07:00

Willie has returned from his reconaissance mission in the Middle East and has recruited a new operative who was stationed there. Meanwhile, I have been plotting attack routes from our secret base to certain countries. Now should we attack the communications tower or the airbase or maybe the... I mean, uh, you didn't hear anything!

Your Lunatic Leader,
Mr. X (aka Wishful Sinful)

Home Base Relocation

2005-08-06T10:37:00.000-07:00

As you know, my evil minions. I have two main home bases, Mr. X is stationed near one, and the other is a remote location. Unfortunately, the remote location has been to difficult to manage, so I am relocating to a larger, more lavish base that is also near Mr. X and very close to Dr. Emmerich. So, after all, this is a plus.

I'd also like to let you know I'm purchasing a National Geographic wall map for my office. This is more than necessary. It is 6 feet long and about 4.5 feet tall. It is extremely detailed, but has a nice antique look. Mr. X already has a globe, so now we both will know where to attack!

So, my followers, you will see me at................................OFFICE DEPOT!

"Fires are clean. No more shadows."

2005-07-29T19:26:00.000-07:00

And fires shall envelop the world!!! Mwhahahaha!!! Anyways, I took a little vacation from the hard work of world dominating. Willie is on a reconaissance mission in an unnamed country in the Middle East. Yes, unnamed.... He is searching for weak points in their defense system so we can exploit them. Meanwhile, I'm here sippin' a soda in our secret fortress. Ah being a world dominatior can be so much fun....

Your Lethal Lord,
Mr. X (aka Wishful Sinful)

Perfect Plan for Domination

2005-07-23T23:03:00.000-07:00

You see, we develop a super laser beam satelite, ok? Then we take off in a space ship crammed full of supplies and weapons and the satelite. So we launch the satelite and aim at some little city like, oh i don't know, Washington D.C. We tell the U.N. this and we say that we'll only disarm the satelite if they give us about...50 billion dollars. So they say no, and we fire warning shot at some little town in the middle of the desert. They know we're not bullshiting them, so they transfer the cash to our Swiss Bank Account. We are very happy, then blow up D.C. anyways. Then on to every major city in the world. Now as for the weapons on our ship, thats for if they try to send up a space shuttle with a little gun tacked on the side. And after destroying every important city on the planet, we land in some area out of view and out of radar range (since we blow up most of the radar antennae) get some more supplies, then take off again. Once we are back up in space, we target military facilities. That will take many months to do every country, weeks for just the U.S. So we target small and insignificant country which is now utterly demolished. No defenses at all, we land and take it over. We declare ourselves new leaders of the country, and due to many rebellions and invasions from angry countries, we have our minions cross the borders in to defend us. However, if it gets really bad, the ship will always have a full tank.

Your Crazed Commander,
Mr. X (aka Wishful Sinful)

Communists are bad.

2005-07-18T00:35:00.000-07:00

Yes. Communists are very bad. They aren't good. Anyways, I was practicing on a world domination simulator (known to some as Rise of Nations) and something very bad happened. Everybody lost because there was nuclear war. Nuclear war=no world left to dominate. This shows that before launching our nukes, we must destroy other nations' nukes first. Seeing that the U.S. has thousands, we better start crackin'.

Your delusional despot,
Mr. X (aka Wishful Sinful)

We Love Nukes.

2005-07-15T00:12:00.000-07:00

Nukes are good. Nukes explode. Nukes kill. Nukes cause mutation. Nukes are big. Nukes fly. Nukes land. Nukes flatten cities. Nukes flatten armies. Nukes make mushrooms. Nukes make doom. Nukes are expensive.

Your kamikaze killer,
Mr. X

Dear General Doom,

2005-07-11T18:16:00.000-07:00

You are not welcome as one of our comrades. We are a duo and that is the way it shall stay. Also, you seem mentally unfit to do...well, just about anything. Go to rehab or an asylum, please. And stay away from my dog! Now it has rabies!

Also, a tip to our spies:

If you drag a dead body into a dark corner, no one will ever no that that person ever existed!

Land, Sea, and Air

2005-07-06T22:18:00.000-07:00

Now these three areas make up all combat. Now you will see how to use them wisely.

Land: Key to conquering anything. You cannot watch carefully over your newly won city from air or sea. You need close up recon. Land units can also destroy a nations economy by destroying bridges, railroad tracks, airports, etc. Tanks, soldiers, and artillery make up this area.

Air: Support for your ground troops. Whether bombing a city for your army to capture or dropping paratroopers for a sneak attack, planes are your main backup units. Bombers are the closest thing you can get to a WMD. Jets can take out the enemy's jets and helicopters. Bombers, fighters, and helicopters make up this area.

Sea: American history shows, port blockades really work. A blockade on major ports will destroy the enemy's economy and many people will starve. Submarines and cruisers can carry a various array of warheads and most ships are also equipped with anti-air guns. Also, aircraft carriers is an air base that you can move from place to place making it a powerful strategic weapon. Destroyers, cruisers, aircraft carriers, submarines, and other ships make up this area.

These are just the basics of modern combat. So study up and you can be a evil genius someday.

Your masterful monarch,
Mr. X

LIVE 8

2005-07-02T16:50:00.000-07:00

well live 8 rocked - the who were awesome. BUT THE MAIN REASON I WATCHED WAS - PINK FUCKING FLOYD. Ohmygod they were incredible.

also, don't forget to help the live 8 cause http://www.live8list.com/en/live8list.html

HOLY CRAPPLES.

Unfortunately those mofos at mtv/vh1 didnt show REM so i'm scouring the web for videos. Latahz

More on spy-proofing your base.

2005-06-26T23:07:00.000-07:00

Note: Special thanks to EGM

Once you get into the sanctuary of your super base, you want to make sure no spy can get in. These are some hints how to get them out.

One of the spy's favorite ways to get into your secret base is in the dark. Hire an electrician to put in a bunch of lights so those spies will get the hell out of there. Oh yes, make sure you use bulletproof lightbulbs.
Spies love to hang around like a bunch of little monkies. Their favorite spots are overhead water pipes and ledges. So to fix these problems, take the insulation off the water pipes and have any guard passing by a mysterious set of fingers step on them. Another thing, evil overlords usually have health packs lying around just for some nosy spy to use when your guards get a couple shots on him. Have a janitor either throw these packs away, or fill them with sleeping pills. And one more thing, in any spy movie, there is always some laser trip wires that spies somehow manuever their way through. Make a laser grid so tight and intricate that spies will try to lose so much weight to get through, they'll die of malnutrition. Henchmen tend to feel special when you give them a keycard to a high security area. So they think they are of higher authority and wear clothes different than those issued to them. However, this informs the spy of which henchman has the key and aims for him. Make sure all your baddies wear the same clothes. But this is the biggest thing you should know, remove all explosive barrels from doors, power generators, actually your base in general. Better yet, catapult them to CIA Headquarters.
That is all.

Your oppressive overlord,
Mr. X

Action movie writers could take over the world. Be wary.

2005-06-19T23:27:00.000-07:00

After watching Air Force One, I soon realized that we need a very important hostage. Preferably from a country that is not the U.S. due to their "No negotiations with terrorists" policy. So we would take the president of lets say, Turkey for example, run away to a heavily guarded fortress until they hand over some tanks or a nuclear bomb or something along those lines. But as we learn from stealth video games, we must teach the guards to look for foolish spies. Aside from patrolling, they must look behind them at random intervals due to a spy's tendency to sneak up behind guards and slit their throats. Also, have cameras look down aside from side to side. Spys love to hide underneath security cameras. More about protecting your fort in next issue of "WORLD DOMINATION".

Your devilish dictator,
Mr. X

Damn

2005-06-14T13:39:00.000-07:00

Wow, we're really having no progress at all. At all. It sucks major. We still can't decide what country to blow up first. Any suggestions? Hopefully somewhere insignificant, yet with a large population. C'monnnnn

Secret Weapons

2005-06-13T21:54:00.000-07:00

My good friend in the U.S. Air Force seems to have gotten a hold of 4 super secret weapons and has donated them to the cause. These secret weapons are almost more deadly than a nuclear warhead and less expensive. However, we need 4 people to operate them, supplies to run them, and an abandoned runway.
You may have guessed what they are, however, there is something that sets them apart. These secret weapons will be coming soon to a panicked city near you.

Your corrupted cohort,
Mr. X

It was all like "Boom"

2005-06-09T22:38:00.000-07:00

I tested my first WMD or how i like to call them "death cylinders". I tested it on a unoccupied mall. Yes...unoccupied. These weapons will prove quite useful to us when we begin to conquer nations. Unfortunately, conquering nations is a bit harder than rolling dice. You have to send spies to get inside information on the gov't so you know exactly how to attack, and its weak points. Then you have to storm the capital with thousands of heavily armed soliders in order to cut the head off the snake.

BOOM!

Words of advice for novice conquistadores.

2005-06-07T22:15:00.000-07:00

(By the way, conquistadores means conquerers in spanish.)

1. Play lots of Risk.
This may sound silly, but it is an excellent training program. The only thing better would probably be Conquer the World Campaign in Rise of Nations. Plan strategies and alliances that would be made. Anticipate the unexpected and prethink a solution to a possible problem.

2. Stay low.
Many people unfortunately do not like the idea of being conquered. If you announce your plans to the world, you will be deemed a terrorist by the U.S. and be hunted down by the FBI, CIA, etc.

3. Do what you promise.
If we have learned anything from presidental campaigns, we know that people don't like it when someone promises something and doesn't do it. It's also not good to do the total opposite. Breaking promises will instantly lead to rebellion.

4. Hire nuclear scientists.
As we have also learned from suspense movies, nuclear scientists for some reason can construct a nuclear bomb with ease. If this is true, get a bunch of these guys, give them a couple of safety suits, a safe facility, and some plutonium and you're off. Nuclear weapons are what everybody fears the most and are quite a good negociating tool.

5. Recruit soldiers, followers, etc.
This is the step we are in the middle of. You will find it is much easier to take over the world if you soldiers and not just your blank threats (except of course they aren't blank threats if you followed Step 4). Soldiers are also good for killing rebels. Hopefully your soldiers have better aim than Stormtroopers which seem to always let those rebels get away.

With these words of wisdom, you might even be worthy to join us. But probably not.

How to: Continental Conquering

2005-06-05T16:21:00.000-07:00

If you truly want power in the world, then conquering whole continents will get you there much faster. The best country to start with is South America, being the smallest (yes I know Australia is smaller but I mean, Australia doesn't have anything important there, say soldiers...). Anyways, once you have a whole continent under the rule of one country (once again excluding Australia), you will be respected by the whole world. A bonus would be a coffee embargo when you take control of Columbia. Politicans everywhere would be too sleepy to order an attack on us! Mwahahahaha....
Your Sanity-Challenged Leader,
Mr. X.

Strategies for you evil crazed cannon fodder.

2005-06-02T22:09:00.000-07:00

In order for Willie and I to obtain more soldiers and social status, we need to declare alliances with some countries. Preferably ones not already focused on taking over the world (meaning no alliance with the U.S.). We would start with a small country then work our way up to an alliance with a world super power. And we own half the world along with that ally, we kill the allied leader! Mwahahaha....
Note: Even though many will die during our quest for world domination, we will be righteous and make sure Nazis and Turks be tortured then killed.

Your lord and master who is not a squirrel,
-Mr. X

I am Mr. X.

2005-06-01T22:22:00.000-07:00

Greetings! I am the soon-to-be vice-president of the world! You see, my comrade and I wish to take over the world. Of course, this may take a while, so we need all the help we can get. Anybody wishing to recruit please contact me. New strategies may be posted to convince you further. That is all.

Partner in Crime

2005-06-01T22:05:00.000-07:00

My friend, who will now be known only as "Mr. X", has joined me in my quest for world domination. He shall update on occasion with updates on our mission and his contributions. Keep reading, and your death shall be quick and painless when we conquer the world.

thank you and good night.

Off to a good start...

2005-06-01T21:54:00.000-07:00

So far, things have been quite good in the world of world domination. I've been spending the last few months gathering weapons and ammo and various worthy people to be used as cannon fodder and warriors. Unfortunately, most will probably become the former.

Anyway, I'm thinking of taking over Belgium first, then working my way up to more important European countries. Not that Belgium isn't important...But who wants a city named Brussels? Any ideas of how to take Belgium by force? Inside information is preferable.

Stay tuned for more info on my quest for world domination.